If you’ve ever built or remodeled a house, chances are you’ve had pieces of PVC pipe lying around. When these pipes are new, they are pristine, clean, and white. That’s good since drinking water usually flows through them. However, over time, these pipes can develop residue that sticks and restricts water flow. This buildup can also leave a bad taste in your mouth. When that happens, a strong blast of water can often wash away the gunk and restore the pipe to its original condition.
The same holds true for marriage. Young hearts beat with genuine love that hasn’t yet been tested by life. Over time, if the couple isn’t careful, bills to pay, kids to raise, and work to do gradually build up until the couple begins to develop a bitter taste. Wise husbands and wives recognize that this bitterness flows directly from the evil one. He likes nothing more than to send dry, crusty marriages further into the desert one slow, deliberate step at a time.
Thankfully, there is a powerful remedy for a sour-tasting marriage! It doesn’t come from self-help books or online articles. It happens after spitting out Satan’s putrid water and washing the marriage with the clean, pristine water of the Word.
In Ephesians 5:25b-26, Paul describes how Jesus loves His bride, the church, “For [Jesus] died for us, sacrificing himself to make us holy and pure, cleansing us through the showering of the pure water of the Word of God.” Husbands can’t imitate someone they don’t know well. Neither can they shower another with something they don’t have. Yet, when they deliberately step under the shower of the Word, day after day, husbands can begin to feel Jesus’ presence. Before long, their hearts are cleansed of all the gunk and filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit. Only then can they have more than enough Jesus to share with their wives!
Paul told husbands to imitate Jesus by demonstrating their love for their wives with tenderness. As that old 70’s song says, “You’ve got to hold her, squeeze her, never leave her. You got to try a little tenderness.” What woman doesn’t respond to a little tenderness?
Tenderness isn’t just for husbands; Paul told wives to be “devoted to their husbands like they are tenderly devoted to Jesus.” I looked up synonyms for the word ‘tender’ and found words like caring, affectionate, fond, kind, gentle, warm, and compassionate. I know a few wives who display these qualities, but I know many more who don’t. It seems tenderness has been lost in our society today. Could it be that many women have replaced their tender ways with cooler and less sympathetic ones? Some women can be all things tender to their children, friends, and even co-workers, but come home rude and disrespectful to their husbands. I’ve been on both ends of that spectrum, and I can testify that simple tenderness goes a long way in building a relationship. What man doesn’t respond to polite, respectful tenderness?
I’m not naïve enough to think that marriage struggles are easily resolved. They aren’t. Some can’t be fixed. Some individuals require spiritual guidance to support the healing process. It may take a considerable amount of time, but healing is possible.
Good marriages don’t just make our lives better; they make the world a better place. Yesterday, Ron and I celebrated 46 years of marriage. Most days have been wonderful – a few not so much, but that’s how love is. You live. You give. You take. You grow. You make mistakes. And you make up! (That’s the best part!) Through it all, we have become one. We both know that a good marriage waters the relationships around us. Our children and grandchildren are some of those at the other end of our marriage pipeline. We want our pipe to be pristine, clean, and white so that those we love can be drenched in the water of Jesus. Who is at the end of your pipeline?
“All that [God] does in us is designed to make us a mature church for his pleasure, until we become a source of praise to him – glorious and radiant, beautiful and holy, without fault or flaw.” (Ephesians 5:27 TPT)
