One of my earliest close friends was also named Donna. My family had just moved to Birmingham, and she helped me feel welcomed at my new elementary school. Sharing the same name immediately gave us something in common. We were excited to find out that we also attended the same church. Our parents became friends, and we became inseparable. We spent nights at each other’s houses, played all kinds of games together, and I even went camping with them. Having a friend at school was great, but having one at church was even better.
We landed in Montgomery the next school year. While I made a few friends at school, it was my church friends who truly felt like family. Our youth group was close-knit. We enjoyed many fun times during our Sunday night devotionals, service projects, retreats, and summer camps. My BFF became the sister I never had. Church friends were the best.
Today, I feel blessed to have gained another friend who feels like a sister, along with a broader circle of friends—some from my school-teaching days, but most from the churches I have attended. These friendships were built through time spent together. The more time we spend together, the closer our friendship becomes. Most times are light and easy, but the tough, dark times reveal the true value of someone who is closer than a sister. Women need sisters!
Spending time together as sisters in Christ should be deliberate. I recently told a new friend that we needed to get together sometime. I loved it when she said, “Let’s get something on the calendar right now!” That’s being intentional.
Take a moment to thank God for the sisters you’re thinking of right now—the ones who brought you your favorite food when you didn’t feel like cooking, those who listened quietly when you needed to get everything off your chest, the ones who showed up unexpectedly at the hospital, stood beside you at the cemetery, laughed at your silly jokes, went on road trips with you, or continue to pray for you and the people you love. Pray especially for the friend who loves you enough to correct you when you begin to believe the enemy’s lies.
I imagine the women who followed Jesus were a close-knit bunch. Jesus’ female disciples demonstrated their love for Him through selfless acts of service. While He handled the healing and teaching, they took care of Him. Serving Him was their common joy. As they spent time with Jesus, they also grew closer to each other. The more time they spent with Him, the stronger their friendship became.
We can’t truly consider sisters in Christ to feel like true sisters unless we’re willing to spend time together. One of the best ways to get to know someone is by serving alongside them. Civic organizations can do a lot of good, but there’s something very special that happens when we serve Jesus together. My friend Kim and I have served side by side for 16 years, leading Bible studies for women in drug rehab. We had known each other for years, but our friendship really grew when we started serving together.
Like the women who followed Jesus, joining a small group within the church gives us the chance to meet women with similar interests and strengthen bonds with those we’ve already met. Some small groups focus on recreation, others on Bible study, but all aim to build relationships. Small groups help us feel connected to the larger church.
Women need sisters who offer support, understand out-of-whack emotions, and find fun in similar ways. Sharing the name Christian firmly places us on solid, common ground so that we become better friend collectors. Our friendship with Jesus encourages us to become friends like Him. The best advice about friendship I’ve ever heard was “be the friend you always wanted to have.” I would add to that, “and let Jesus be the One who pulls you close.”
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT)
[In this series of “What Women Need,” we’ve learned that our most basic need is to be ROOTED in Christ. To stay rooted, we must regularly consume and meditate on the nourishing FOOD of God’s Word. Having SISTERS who are grounded and filled with solid food satisfies our need to belong. Next week, we’ll examine a need that’s already been met but which we often overlook. Stay tuned.]
