Fussing with God

When my friend Kim’s text popped up, I opened it with a quick click. Staring back at me was my own little face back in the spring of my life. I could see she had attached some sort of video, but the whirling circle in the middle of those chubby childish cheeks refused to stop spinning. My fingers tapped back, “Looks like there’s something here, but it just keeps whirling.” After a few adjustments, I finally saw her creation – a musical montage of me enjoying life with family and friends. 

Emotion stirred as I remembered the events surrounding each picture. She certainly accomplished what she intended. I saw in living color just how much God had blessed me. My mind soon drifted back to a multitude of faces not included in the video. There had been scores of people God had placed in my path whose hands helped shape my life. All those people who loved me (and a few who didn’t) had chipped away more than a few rough edges. 

Depending on your season of life, 65 may be the age you wish you could go back to, or it might be the one you dread. I’ve joked about getting older, but I’ve never been truly bothered by a birthday – until this year. Yet, it wasn’t the number that bothered me as much as it was that little card I received in the mail. You know, the one with Medicare written at the top. It declared me to be “Officially Old”! 

Just last week as I drove up the mountain to our house, I fussed at God about this aging thing. I asked him if it was really fair to give me three times as many children to love when I only have half the energy I used to have. And why do so many joints in my body want to talk back to me in such a nasty way? Why does my memory fail me so often? And why do so many things have to droop?

God and I have some really good talks. He likes it when I’m honest with Him. He likes it even more when I pay attention to what He’s teaching me. Driving up the mountain that day I chose to listen. In my mind, He said, “Look around you.” So, I did. The winding road leading to my house was lined with the spectacular colors of fall. Leaves of red, gold, yellow, and brown lazily drifted onto the hood of my car. It was a glorious day. Slowly, I began to realize what He wanted me to know. I had grown up physically throughout the spring of my life. I worked, raised kids, and pushed myself in my summer season. But now? Now, I could enjoy the most colorful time of life. The hardest part of my life had given birth to the best part. 

Whether you realize it or not, God has enriched the soil where He’s planted you. He’s rained down His blessings, nourished you daily, protected you from the elements, and even pruned you to keep you growing in the right direction. All because He loves you. 

The leaves of my life are now filled with magnificent color! They help me see the grand display of God’s faithful love, grace, and mercy. How very sweet of Him to give me three times as many children to love! How reassuring of Him to stoke my longing for more of Him with every heartache and pain! How often He reminds me of His love! How kind of Him to nudge family and friends to prop me up when my spirit begins to droop. 

If we maintain our honest talks with God and pay attention to all He whispers to our souls, then winter will never come. Our lives will be forever filled with the colors of His radiance. So, let the winds blow. Let our lives sway. Let us gently drop all of God’s goodness onto those struggling to get up the mountain.  

“Lord, you are my secure shelter. Don’t ever let me down! Let your justice be my breakthrough.

Bend low to my whispered cry and save me from all my enemies! You’re the only place of protection for me. I keep coming back to hide myself in you, for you are like a mountain-cliff fortress where I’m kept safe. Let me escape from these cruel and wicked men, and save me from the hands of the evil one. For you are my only hope, Lord! I’ve hung on to you, trusting in you all my life. It was you who supported me from the day I was born, loving me, helping me through my life’s journey. You’ve made me into a miracle; no wonder I trust you and praise you forever! 

Many marvel at my success, but I know it is all because of you, my mighty protector. I’m overflowing with your praise for all you’ve done, and your splendor thrills me all day long. Now that I’m old, don’t set me aside. Don’t let go of me when my strength is spent. For all my enemies whisper behind my back. They’re waiting for me to fall so they can finish me off. They’re convinced you’ve left me and that you’ll never come to my rescue. They’re saying, “Let’s get him now! He has no savior!” 

O God, stay close to me! Don’t just watch from a distance! Hurry to help me, my God! Cover these accusers of mine with shame and failure! Destroy them all, for they only want to kill me! No matter what, I’ll trust in you to help me. Nothing will stop me from praising you to magnify your glory! I couldn’t begin to count the times you’ve been there for me. With the skill of a poet, I’ll never run out of things to say about how you faithfully kept me from danger. I will come forth in your mighty strength, O my Lord God. I’ll tell everyone that you alone are the perfect one. 

From my childhood you’ve been my teacher, and I’m still telling everyone of your miracle-wonders! God, now that I’m old and gray, don’t walk away. Give me grace to demonstrate to the next generation all your mighty miracles and your excitement, to show them your magnificent power! For your glorious righteousness reaches up to the high heavens. No one could ever be compared to you! Who is your equal, O God of marvels and wonders? Even though you’ve let us sink down with trials and troubles, I know you will revive us again lifting us up from the dust of death. Give us even more greatness than before. Turn and comfort us once again. 

My loving God, the harp in my heart will praise you. Your faithful heart toward us will be the theme of my song. Melodies and music will rise to you, the Holy One of Israel. I will shout and sing your praises for all you are to me — Savior, lover of my soul! I’ll never stop telling others how perfect you are, while all those who seek my harm slink away ashamed and defeated!” 

(Psalm 71 TPT)

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Donna Jackson

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