Years ago, Gary Chapman introduced five simple yet powerful love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time. Chapman believed that marriages, parent-child relationships, and friendships often experience disconnection, not because of a lack of love, but because the people involved do not speak the same love language. Many people have learned that paying attention to how someone expresses love to them helps them understand how to return their love more effectively.
If you want to show me some love, you don’t need to buy me gifts or serve me (though I’ll never refuse those). You’ll win my heart every time with big, warm hugs sprinkled with a light coat of affirmation. But please know that to connect with your heart effectively, I may need to speak a language I’m less fluent in. And learning to do that takes time. In fact, I believe time is a crucial part of every language. After all, it takes time spent together to speak kindly, lend a hand, buy a thoughtful gift, or give a pat on the back.
Thanksgiving is the perfect time to learn a new love language. And who better to teach us than the One who speaks each language fluently! John taught us that “we love because he [God] first loved us.” (1 John 4:19) Because God loved us so much, He didn’t just hand us a list of commands and say, “Here you go! Do the best you can.” No, He sent Jesus to show us how it’s done. Jesus speaks love in every language!
John’s gospel records Jesus speaking WORDS OF AFFIRMATION to the disciples, His intimate friends: “I have never called you ‘servants,’ because a master doesn’t confide in his servants, and servants don’t always understand what the master is doing. But I call you my most intimate and cherished friends, for I reveal to you everything that I’ve heard from my Father.” (John 15:15 TPT)
Jesus performed many acts of SERVICE during His time on earth. Yet perhaps His tenderest act was wrapping a towel around His waist, bending low, washing His friends’ feet, and drying them with the towel.
Jesus gave His most precious GIFT to all of us when He took our sins to the cross and restored us to a right relationship with God. He didn’t have to give His life, but He did. He declared in front of the Pharisees, “No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded.” (John 10:18 NLT)
Naturally, I’m most touched by Jesus TOUCHING the man with leprosy. The One who spoke the world into existence could have simply spoken a word and healed him. The author and perfecter of our faith could have instructed the man to perform a ritual. Yet, what great love the gentle Shepherd showed when He touched the man who hadn’t been touched in years! Jesus loved him the way He needed to be loved.
In all these acts of love, Jesus took the necessary TIME to affirm, serve, give, and touch many different people. Even now, He sits at the right hand of God, patiently waiting for the perfect moment when God will say, “Go get your friends!” The presence of the Holy Spirit living in us proclaims Jesus’ deep love for us. His comforting promise to His disciples remains just as true for us today: “Loving me empowers you to obey my commands. And I will ask the Father and he will give you another Savior, the Holy Spirit of Truth, who will be to you a friend just like me—and he will never leave you. The world won’t receive him because they can’t see him or know him. But you know him intimately because he remains with you and will live inside you.” (John 14:15-17 TPT)
Jesus demonstrated love in every language to make sure no one felt left out. As we become more like Him, His love grows within us and fills our hearts. Our focus shifts away from trying to get the love we need to giving the love we’ve been given. We love, do good, and expect nothing in return because we already have all we need. That’s something to be truly thankful for!
Happy Thanksgiving!
“Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name
goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness.”
(Psalms 115:1)
