Knowing that God is working THROUGH us to accomplish something of eternal value warms our hearts with joy; however, God working IN us is another matter. More often than not, exchanging our fleshly desires for godly ones is not a quick yank. It’s more like slowly peeling a Band-Aid off a hairy arm. The hairier the arm, the more it hurts.
Perhaps the most significant “aha moment” I’ve ever had was when I learned that I can’t be someone else’s Holy Spirit. I can display the fruit of the Spirit living in me, but I can’t transform the way anyone thinks. I can be used to assist the process by turning others to Jesus, but only the Spirit knows the depth and speed needed to bring about the most change in a person’s heart.
Not long ago, I met a woman who seemed somewhat tentative about her faith. She grew up in church, but her life didn’t reflect the kind of faith she wanted. She was thirsty for the Living Water that only Jesus can offer. Time after time, she went to His stream and sipped. She prayed for change, and, like a Band-Aid being slowly pulled off, He helped her release some selfish desires and infused her with new ones. Standing on the sidelines and watching this process has blessed my soul.
The only people who have never experienced a relationship that goes sideways are those living under a rock. Recently, my friend shared this letter and allowed me to share it with you. Most of us can relate to that “slow erosion of hope” she speaks of. Read the following words from someone who has transformed from a sipper to a gulper. She has been filled with streams of Living Water that overflow to everyone around her.
**************
Loving Through Disappointment: A Letter from My Heart to Yours
Loving someone deeply is beautiful. But loving through disappointment? That’s holy work.
To my husband—and to every woman reading this who’s ever felt the ache of unmet promises—I want to say: I see you. I am you. And God sees us both.
There’s a kind of pain that comes not from betrayal or abandonment, but from the slow erosion of hope. The kind where you ask, remind, pray, and still nothing changes. You’re left holding not just the weight of your emotions, but also the pieces of what you believed would be different by now.
I’ve felt that. I’ve looked at the man I love and wondered how he can say “I love you” while his actions say otherwise. And oh, how that hurts.
But here’s what I’m learning: Love isn’t just felt in moments of affection. It’s forged in fire—in the quiet, tearful prayers whispered at midnight … in the decision to stay soft, when your heart wants to grow cold … in the choice to keep showing up, even when your expectations are unmet.
That doesn’t mean ignoring hurt or silencing your voice. In fact, it means the opposite. It means expressing your heart honestly, asking for accountability, and still choosing grace. Not to enable—but to reflect Christ, who loves us even when we fall short again and again.
Sisters, if you’re walking this path, I urge you—pray. Not just for your husband to change, but for your own heart to stay tender and strong. Ask God to give you wisdom, patience, and clarity. And if you’re too tired to pray, just whisper His name. He knows.
Disappointment is real. But so is redemption. Keep believing. Keep loving—with boundaries, with faith, and with the unshakable knowledge that God is near to the brokenhearted.
You are not alone.
**************
“All praises belong to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he is the Father of tender mercy and the God of endless comfort. He always comes alongside us to comfort us in every suffering so that we can come alongside those who are in any painful trial. We can bring them this same comfort that God has poured out upon us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 TPT)
