At Christmas, our pastor told a story that stuck with me like a bug on a sticky pad. I can’t shake it off my heart so I’m thinking I’m supposed to tell you the story.
A husband and wife began fighting so much that the wife, who battled depression and anxiety, fell into deep depression. Her negative emotions overwhelmed her so much that she finally packed a bag and left her husband and three children.
The husband sent text after text, made phone call after phone call, but she never responded. He filed a missing person’s report, but nothing. Weeks went by, so the husband hired a private investigator to look for his wife. Soon, she was found in a less-than-desirable motel on the shady side of town. Immediately, the husband and children jumped into their van, high-tailed it to the motel, and knocked on the door of her room. When she opened the door and saw her family, she gathered her belongings without saying a word, packed her bag, and got into the van. All the way home no one said a word. After they got to the house, the kids went to their room, and the confused husband spoke first, “I’ve sent you hundreds of texts and made hundreds of phone calls that you never answered. Then, when we showed up at your door, you just packed your bag, and came with us. Why did you come so easily?”
At this point in the story, I leaned in to hear her response because I knew exactly how she felt. I know that feeling of deep depression. Maybe some of you do too. Some of you may wonder if your life really matters because Satan has increased his lies from mere whispers to shouts, reminding you of all the mistakes you’ve made. His you-will-never-be-good-enough-to-make-a-difference song is on repeat in your head. You believe those you love would be much better off without all your inner turmoil ruining their days. Satan has you twisted in so many knots that you believe the most loving thing you could do would be to go away. You wonder how God could ever love someone like you.
If you feel this way, lean in, and listen closely to what I learned this past year. God does indeed love you! You are His child, the apple of His eye, and He will never leave you. He sent His Son Jesus to pay the bill for all your sins. He sent His Holy Spirit to establish a loving, intimate relationship with you – one that Satan continually attempts to destroy. Jesus wants to become your best friend who talks with you for hours over meals, laughs at your jokes, dances to your music, cries when you hurt, and shows up every single time you invite Him into the scenes of your life’s movie.
Yes, you’ve made mistakes. Who hasn’t? Both you and I have purposely done things that do not honor God. Let’s confess them, and get on with life. People have hurt you. Forgive them. And just know this: there will be people who will never forgive you, but God always will when you ask, and He’s the one that counts. If people don’t love you, that’s their loss, but remain open to love. When others make light of you, maybe it’s because they don’t understand you. Kill their ridicule with kindness. If you feel rejected, there are godly people who will walk closely beside you. Go where they are!
All this was easy to type, but so very hard to learn. As my Daddy always says, “If it was easy everybody would be doing it.” It took an entire year to get to the bottom of my life’s memories I had managed to keep boxed and stored. However, God knew it would be for my benefit to rapid-fire an abundance of challenges toward me in order to completely empty me. He knew that only then could I survive and know beyond all doubt that the joy I now feel is ALL because of Him and ABSOULUTELY NOT because of anything I had done.
We can’t truly love anyone else until we grasp how much God loves us. God is love! He proved His love to me over and over by leading me step by step through a grueling, but glorious process of transformation. He will do the same for you. Now, I have just one question I’m feeling led to ask:
The Spirit kept reminding me of two stories in the gospels that I’d like for us to step into over the next two weeks. These two stories helped me understand how to take what I’d learned through an inward examination of myself and apply it to outwardly loving the people he’s placed in my path. It helped me be able to decide whether I should stay put whenever someone I love wants to run away or whether I should go after them. I hope you’ll join me and share your thoughts as we go.
So! I guess you’d like to know how the pastor’s story ended. Right? The wife’s honest response made my eyes first sting, then puddle, and finally spill over their brims because her response would have been mine too. The woman left home feeling depressed and useless. After her husband pursued her and brought her back home, he asked, “Why did you come home so easily?”
“BECAUSE YOU CAME!”
Sweet friend, Jesus came for you too!