Maybe feeling the pressure to meet every single need of everyone in our lives is a “firstborn” thing. Maybe it’s a “being a woman” thing. Or, maybe it’s a “pride” thing. Perhaps, it’s all three rolled up in a giant ball of mistletoe. (I’m thinking some sons and husbands might be reading this, so you can pay me later for the insight. 🙂 )
Especially during the holidays, many of us women feel the need to be in charge, to see that everything gets done, and gets done exceptionally well when we were never called to do it all. We want dinners to go off without a hitch as presents wrapped with artistic flair lie underneath our perfectly decorated tree. On the big day, we hope to display rested eyes that twinkle with excitement and gleaming smiles that sparkle. We long to create cherished memories that etch themselves into the minds of our children and grandchildren.
Several months ago, a very wise friend gave me some great advice I’d like to pass along to you. It translates to every demanding season of life – not just Christmas. As I sat wet-eyed in her office chair, I explained the reason for my emotional drain. A long-lost relative had suddenly and unexpectedly reappeared in my life only because he needed someone, anyone, to manage his life during his long hospital stay. He nominated me while I was in the throes of also managing my mom’s doctor visits, medication, bill paying, and her general activities of life. His unrelenting demands stretched my body and emotions as thin as frog hair split four ways. Resentment took hold as he repeatedly insisted that I meet his every whim. I fully admit to you that love was not what I felt for him.
My friend listened as I poured every ounce of my frustration into her lap. Then, she did what she does so well, she understood. She had been there, seen others go there, and offered these three suggestions:
When I spent some time thinking about each of my tasks, there were very few that only I could do. I was blessed with friends and family who would have gladly pitched in if I’d only asked. However, my sense of responsibility overtook my good sense. My pride stood between me and rest.
So, please don’t think that only you can save the day or that you alone can perform a task with excellence. What expectations are you trying to meet that could just as easily be met by someone else? Don’t be too proud to ask, especially when it comes to caring for loved ones. Give the people in your life the opportunity to not have any regrets! Let them help. Let others do what they can do. Those cherished memories you hope to create are counting on you!
God sits on the throne quietly urging the Spirit to send just the right people to you at just the right time. Recognize His voice. Listen to it. Find the rest your body and emotions need. By letting go of lesser things outside your calling, God just might bless you with greater things you were actually created to do. Let go, and let God do what only He can do!
Paul knew he needed the support of his friends to do what God had called him to do. I’m sure you can relate to the discouragement he felt when he failed to locate Titus, his much-needed friend and brother in Christ.
“When I came to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ, even though the Lord opened a door for me, I had no rest in my spirit because I did not find my brother Titus. Instead, I said good-bye to them and left for Macedonia.”
(2 Corinthians 2:12-13)
Later, when he met up with Titus in Macedonia Paul gave God all the credit for the comfort that only He can provide.
When we came into Macedonia, we had no rest. Instead, we were troubled in every way: conflicts on the outside, fears within. But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the arrival of Titus, and not only by his arrival but also by the comfort he received from you. He told us about your deep longing, your sorrow, and your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced even more.”
(2 Corinthians 7:5-7)
No matter the season, the stress, the heartache, or the grief, celebrate the God whose divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. (2 Peter 1:3)